Quote:
Originally Posted by CopperStar
Thank you for the replies so far, I appreciate them. I have just spent so long trying so hard to figure out what is wrong with me (and how to fix it). The DID thing really shook me up and made me very angry, and didn't make any sense to me. I just quit seeing that therapist and didn't want to talk about it or think about it, went and got myself a psychiatrist, who I convinced that I was bipolar (since I had received that label in the past). Been thinking about my biological father lately and for whatever reason that has lead to me thinking about the whole DID thing again, and it's been just bothering me.
Like I have gone most of my life with "characters" in my mind, I think it was a coping mechanism to be less lonely and also to try to talk myself through things. That sort of thing is a lot more active when I am under stress. But I have always known that they are not "real". So the notion by my T that they were "alters" or something just freaked me the hell out and made me really pissed. Still don't know what to think about it, but it's comforting to be able to read how others experience stuff.
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My alters are there as a way to cope with life, hence the many. Alters present as triggered because they are needed. One doesn't need to have "blackouts" in missing time to be a multiple. Our lights are always on, but time and memory is still a *****.
Have you tried journaling? This helps to see what all feelings and opinions you have. The voices of others in my head worked into my thinking...we think through each other in conscious, so it's easy to mistake it all as one entity. We are mind melded. After awhile I noticed that the voices had different timbres and talking styles. Today I can tell when an other steps in because the conscious becomes the next one up. It's totally freaky, but it can be fun!
Try a little journaling and see if you can relate to other threads or research. Who knows.
