I have had "personality disorder not otherwise specified", a conglomeration of traits none of them enough to qualify for a specific personality disorder. And I have an anxious-ambivalent attachment style so that’s another difference between our situations. But I’ve been in therapy for 5 and a half years that is similar to what you described and it HAS been helpful. I’d been in a lot of therapy before which was not. But in my case, the “pretend” relationship elicited my problematic attachment responses and has helped me develop better ones.

Would you feel comfortable seeing the therapist again and asking him some more about the process and how it is supposed to work?