I'm so sorry to hear you had to go through that... NO ONE should have to, especially a child. To be honest, I have no idea how to respond. I guess it takes a really long time to get over something like that, as it involves changing the way you think, amongst other things. But it is possible, right? With hard work and a decent therapist I believe it is. It's clear you've done a lot of reflection around your childhood and tried to figure things out, so at least you understand to some extent why you think/feel the way you do. Do you feel like you're making progress in terms of trying deal with all of this, and the impact it's had on you?