When it comes to failure to find one through insurance there are free mental health facilities that can and will help you either find one there or help you find one through your insurance. Embarrassing at first? probably. But when you finally see someone and open up about whatever you may be facing, you will be surprised at how "professional" people will be understanding your situation and helpful to you. I hope you go through with it. If you do, and it's a bad experience, don't let that stop you from trying and finding somewhere or someone else. 
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The perfect way is only difficult for those who pick and choose. Do not like, do not dislike; all will then be clear. Make a hairbreadth difference and heaven and earth are set apart; if you want the truth to stand clear before you, never be for or against. The struggle between "for" and "against" is the minds worst disease.
Sad veiled bride please be happy,
Handsome groom, give her room.
Loud Loutish lover, treat her kindly
Though she needs you, more than she loves you.
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