In my observations and experiences, genuine friendship is extremely rare, not something that most people have.
Most so-called friends are really just people who are getting mutual benefits from each other. Maybe they entertain each other by sharing the same sense of humor. Maybe they have shared hobbies. Maybe Friend A is getting tangible benefits, while Friend B is getting some sort of dysfunctional emotional fulfillment out of the deal. Etc.
Like in my early 20s I worked in an office environment and made a friend "Anne". Well Anne thought I was funny and enjoyed scooting her office chair over to my desk to get some giggles during the workday. Anne also had financial and anxiety issues and appreciated that I occasionally bought a gram of weed for her. Anne also had marital problems and would vent to me because I was a "good listener". To others, it probably seemed like Anne and I were very close friends. But in reality Anne just enjoyed the benefits she got from our "friendship" and I enjoyed having at least one coworker who wasn't passive-aggressive with me at work. And in the end, Anne tried to sleep with my then-boyfriend, orchestrated herself getting let go so that she could collect unemployment and then never called me again.
I have watched many other people's "friendships" over the years and it's usually a similar story.
So if you are some who
A. Doesn't fall all over yourself trying to offer people things
and
B) Has hobbies/interests that are more solo-activities (anime, video gaming, etc)
and
C) Are not exceptionally attractive
Then it just makes sense that you will have far less (if any) so-called "friendships".
|