I know a little about T. From the start, I've known she's married and that her H also used to work in the same practice, that she has 2 kids and a few grandkids. I knew a few things about her hobbies, sports teams she likes, etc. But she gave me very few glimpses into her life outside the office. Over the past year or so (I've been seeing her 4 years), she's been giving me more insights into her personal life, what she's like as a mother, a few issues she had early on in her marriage, and a few things that stress her out. I appreciate the additional insight, because it makes me feel more connected to her. And not like she has this perfect and stress-free life.

My marriage counselor is much more open about his personal life, including some of his own struggles and faults. He shares a lot about things that have happened in his life, as a parent, as a husband, when he was younger, etc. that relate to things we're addressing in session (and sometimes not particularly related!) He's also admitted to having one of the same mental health issues that I do, so it makes me feel like he understands me more because he's been there (T hasn't shared anything like that).

Overall, it's definitely made me feel more connected to him as compared to my T--which led to some fairly intense transference at one point, where I kind of idealized him both as a father and as a husband (at different times). But we've mostly worked through that, and now I see him as the generally good, but flawed and rather insecure person that he is.