They say that in order to break a bad habit, you have to understand what purpose your habit is serving. How do I figure that out? And even if I did figure out why, HOW THE HELL would I be able to do anything about it??

I can't change the fact that my parents divorced. There's nothing new I don't know about it. Frankly, I don't even care that they did. It was a relief and a "good riddance", if anything. They were never happy together, my Dad always made my Mom miserable, and they made me miserable because of it. I was happy that they divorced. It was good news to me.

I already tried to get on good terms with my dad, but that hasn't changed much. We just awkwardly act nice to each other now. I don't know what I could say to him that would make anything better and not worse for no reason- just turning over the past in a way that changes nothing, and makes everything only more awkward for us.

I know I avoid getting out and talking to people- but there's nothing to do. I'm planning to get a job out of state and moving there and starting a new life anyway. I don't want to bother meeting anybody in this crappy state if I'm going to move to a new state and leave them anyway. Whoever my kind of people are, they sure as hell don't live here.

Can anybody here actually help me with this, instead of just telling me to pay for therapy with money I don't have?? It's out of the question. Drop it and come up with something else to respond to me. Something that will actually help me and be of use to me right now.