Have you had a look at the book The Stranger in the Mirror? It's written by the women who devised the SCID-D test. It gives great explanations and life stories of the dissociative scale. I probably have DD-NOS or whatever the new name is. Anyway it's a great book. Also The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk. That's more technical but still very good. Sounds like you need to find someone who is trained in trauma. My t says there aren't many here in UK who will diagnose it and it's a fairly controversial area (as you realise reading Van Der Kolks book). I have managed to find a support group near me. Hope you can get some validation soon. Believe yourself. Only you know you.