I feel for you. I do the same type of things and I am OCD, so I am already insecure to the point of checking everything anyway. It seems that no matter how careful I try to be, I miss stuff. Recently, I have missed my exit on the way home from work, which should be a simple problem to solve, right? Well, I tried to get off the freeway so I could get back on again, only there was no on ramp going the other way. It's 3am in the middle of nowhere and I just drove around praying that I would find my way to a road I recognized which I finally did after about 1/2 an hour of endless driving. I thought I was going to have to pull over and sleep there, because what do you do when you're in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night and you have no friends or family you can call? Just a couple weeks ago, after a horrible shift at the vet clinic, I'm driving home already crying and praying, and I look down and I have NO gas in my tank. So, I take the next exit and low and behold all the gas stations are closed. I have no one to call and even if I did, my phone's battery is dead and I probably have less than 2 minutes tops. I try to be so careful to control my environment to make it "safe" and these thing still happen.. People tell me I'm smart, too. I think I am smart. I also think I have a mental illness that affects my ability to handle day to day life and work. Hang in there. You are not alone.