My PTSD was cause by my first husband abusing my sexually and part of that was related to oral sex. I don't know what to tell you to do to get past this. I know that through the understanding and love of my current partner that I was able to work through my issues regarding oral and I comfortable with him (and only him) in respect to that part of my sexuality...and many other aspects as well. For some people that is what it takes is ONE person who is patient and understanding. I do know this...no abuser or abusers are worth your life. There are worthy partners out there who deserve you.