Are either of you in counseling? How about your daughter? That's where this scenario gets questionable to me. If neither of you are in counseling, I'd highly recommend doing so. Children do matter to, in all of this. And I am certainly not remotely close to preaching to the choir with you, since you clearly want to make this biological scenario truly nucleus as a family. I probably need to not be on a soapbox. She needs to know what it is that she wants out of life. Right now probably isn't the best time to have questions about her own identity. Not when she has a major responsibility raising your daughter.

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