there's no good way to tell anyone anything they do not wish to hear. that is the thing my therapist has taught me. he said obsessing about how to say things "in a nice way" is what women get taught and a trap they are caught in because of the "there's no good way to tell anyone anything they don't want to her thing" (another reason I find female Ts useless. they want everyone to be nice and say hateful things in nice voices and terribly passive aggressive) my therapist who is AWESOME said, "I'm not helping you learn to make the world a nicer place for other people I'm helping you make the world a nicer place for you. let others do the same" there is nothing so basic and annoying and some high pitched passive aggressive female asserting what she thinks is a boundary but really is just someone being rude in a "nice voice". like what kind of craziness is that.

i am not a rude though I'm sure some experience me that way. but their reactions to me are theirs to fix and I am under no requirement to alter myself to make another person's day easier.