Simple and normal is a ways to go. not being depdent. even if i am dissapointed!
even if i don`t get a reply i wanted so much!

judgin myself , my feelings and feeling stupid becasue of it will only make things worse.

so i had this stupid habbit of mine again
ho God i hope i WILL NEVER get to RAVE SO MUCH in a relatioship again!
especially if it`s JUST AN ONLINE contact.
so i know this guy only from year of positng on a msg board, from reading his journal that he has been positng on for 4 years now, and a few emails.

i have a sort of imaginary crush on him. but it`s ONLY imaginary! i don`t know this guys for real. nobody is perfect.
althoguth i have been day dreaming about it for a long itme. staring at his pics....imagening stuff....

AND I HAVE MY LIFE, AND IT`S WAY MORE INTERESITNG!
my life has MUCH MORE to it than just this contact with that guy.

maye i shoudln`t try to make this contact any more.
it has a negative influence on me! see how it happenes!
i was just SO dissapointed he hasn`t asnwered yet, becasue i thought that after emailing about 5 timesi can be with him really good online friends.

everything is temporary. and the future has endless possiblities. maybe we will have more contact in the future. maybe he is vain. maybe he thiks so highly about himself. maybe too much. maybe he places himself in his mind "above" the other person subconciously ...although he writes agains it.

well. that`s what i say.
anyways aren`t all feelings temporary?
both pleasant and unpleasant.

i feel better. i need to fo get about him. i want to reduce the time i think of him. to relax and go on with my LIFE!!!!!!!