She is saying she doesn't believe you NOT that you are faking. She doesn't believe you don't want to be a mother anymore. You love your son so much that you don't want him near any perceived badness. You are trying to protect him at great pain to yourself. That is love but it is also misguided.

I believe you have so much self loathing that you believe that bad in you but I do not believe he is better without you. I have been the child in that position and I had so much anger that I wasn't allowed to choose, that my parent decided (incorrectly) for me.

Your T isn't saying you are faking or lying she seems to be saying she doesn't believe you don't want to be a mom when you are willing to do this for him and she doesn't believe people loathe you as you do yourself.

Hang tight granite.