I'm trying to hang on to hope, but after a lot of ruminating and yes, sadly, a lot of wine (and tears)...I have accepted that it is possible that I may be alone forever and I'm trying to be okay with that. I don't even really know if I like men anymore anyway, looking around at what they do to women as a collective. Can I justify my desire for sex with putting up with one of them again? I don't think I can. I don't think the kind of man I want exists in sufficient quantity to even merit having hope that I might encounter him before I indeed look like a withered she-gnome in a scarf.

Can we get surgery to stop wanting sex? Will ovary removal kill the desire? I really want to know because more than anything I want quality of life without this stupid mess haunting me like a foul fog. I'd just as soon be done with it completely and focus on myself. Yes, MYSELF.