Quote:
Originally Posted by silverleaf
I'm starting to feel quite confused about my sexuality. Not really looking for answers because I know it has to come from me, but if anyone has any thoughts then please feel free to let me know!!
I'm a 28 year old woman, I've only had one sexual encounter and that ended up being non-consensual sex (can't use the **** word). That was 5 years ago and I haven't had any relationships since. I've been in therapy the last couple of years to sort out a lot of different issues. But recently I've started to think about sexuality a lot, and about myself and how I 'fit in' with the world. And I've realised I have a lot of feelings towards women, to the point where I'm questioning that I might be gay (or bi.. or something!) It's all a bit skewed up because I know I have very twisted up feelings about men and part of me wonders if I'm leaning towards women because I'm scared of men. But then if that were the case I would probably just be scared of men and have no feelings towards women?!
This is the first time I've ever even started to acknowledge that I might feel this way. It's all a bit scary. I can't imagine having a solid relationship with a woman, but then I can't really imagine that with a man either. But having grown up imagining the 'get married, have kids' traditional gender role scenario.. I just feel a bit lost and confused!!! Any thoughts very gratefully received!
|
I think this is more common than you realize. I pretty much exclusively date women and I think the number of sexual assaults is much higher than 1 in 4. Almost everyone I dated had been either sexually abused/molested as a child or r***ed/sexually assaulted as an adult. I don't think it was just that I attracted people who were survivors of sexual assault, I think that it just happens to a lot of people, especially women. Even if you are attracted to women because you are scared of men, that isn't necessarily a bad thing. As long as you aren't forcing yourself to be with someone you don't want to be with, I think it's ok. I think maybe people's sexuality is also a lot more fluid than anyone, especially society, wants to admit. As other people have said, there are a lot of relationships that don't include sex. You might want to work on being able to envision a future with someone, anyone, and then deal with the rest later?