My therapist has great insight into why I've done the things I have and feel the way I do, but I do lack emotional awareness. I'd go so far as to say I hate feelings. I'm very driven by my job, academic achievements and work, and emotions make me feel extremely uncomfortable. Which is why I fell apart last year, after trying to hold it all in together for too many years. She's helping me slowly adjust to (shudder) feelings. All feels very weird. But at least I'm not thinking about killing myself every hour or so.