Thank you everyone

Ana Whitney, sounds like you have a good T and you respect each other. Thank you for your thoughts.

Partless, thank you for your thoughts also. I guess you're saying therapy is unique so we can do anything within T's boundaries?

Chummy, Thank you, it's good to hear you feel comfortable enough to not worry about your T's feelings.

AllHeart, Thank you, I agree, though if I lived by your saying I would never have mentioned to T I was upset at her. I would've been cheerful and forgiving no matter how late she was.

Granite, You sound like a respectful person, your T is lucky to have you.

Magno, You do sound very considerate of your T, I am sure she appreciated it. You are right, in a friendship we may not speak up about being mad, so I do wonder, was it really OK to tell my T I was mad, because I usually don't express bad feelings towards family/friends either.

Miswimmy, Yes, you are right that Ts are human, I hope they can really not take whatever we say personally! I worry because I am more honest/less tactful towards my T compared to everyone else.

ChipperMonkey, what a thought provoking comment! I will bring it to my T to discuss! It is mind boggling and confusing. On one hand T says I should freely say whatever is on my mind, but I was brought up to put kindness above everything else. Isn't it unkind to say things without filtering through a "tactful sieve"?

Suraya, Of course, thank you, I do try hard to use "I" statements, though sometimes in sessions, I blurt out my secret thoughts which aren't in "I" statements, and not filtered with politeness.

Tearinyourhand, your T sounds assertive and helpful, thanks for sharing.

BrownOwl, Thank you for understanding. You are right, sharing our honest feelings can bring us closer to someone, if we trust them enough. I agree, it is hard to trust our friends and family enough to speak up about things they did to hurt us. I think that's why I have only shared my real feelings with T, because I trust her.

Atisketatasket, Thank you for sharing. Sounds like your two therapists are very professional.

Gaylegg, thanks for sharing, I wonder if you were upset at your, T would you speak up?

Mouse, Thank you for your thoughts. I wonder if we still need to be nice in therapy, and if Nice conflicts with Real.

Bipolarartist, I hope Ts really can keep their feelings out of the room.

Cinnamon Stick, You sound very considerate, and sounds like you have a warm and loving relationship with T. I wonder if you would ever speak up if T did something to upset you.

Lolagrace, I understand what you mean! Thank you for your very thoughtful comments. I always appreciate your insights. I was brought up being taught that directness = rude, so now I'm learning new ways of looking at things.

CANDC, I will be sure to remember to use "I" statement as much as possible! I hope you are right that my T can avoid reacting personally. I appreciate how you said in therapy we can bare our souls, I will ask my T about this!

Argonautomobile, your post is so appreciated. I remember how extremely courteous you were to encourage your T to look after the crisis patient, in the middle of your session. What you said about T being late often because you don't scream at him, I understand what you mean! Will you ask your T? I asked mine the exact same question and she said NO, she wasn't late because I was considerate; she had other reasons. I find your advice very wise and helpful, to use "I" statements and to not assume T's feelings. I get confused about filtered vs unfiltered, because usually T encourages me to talk freely, so I wonder if there are exceptions in cases of angry feelings. Anyway it is nice to know your understand!

ShaggyChic, I love how you described your conversation! How exciting that you expressed yourself honestly! You deserve your T's beaming pride! Thank you for sharing.

Stopdog, Good for you, I am glad your are free to be yourself.

StarryNight, You sound very kind and considerate.

Cloudburst, sounds like a mutually respectful relationship!

Mygrandjourney, that's a good point, I will ask T about her feelings for insights into my issues!