AnnaBellaCat, my advice is to live one day at a time. We think we can plan our lives, we cannot. We can only be responsible and manage what our obligations say we must, but many try to live their own lives. I believe and practice the concept that my higher power is in control of my life whom i like to call God. He knows better than i so i pray for direction as to what He would have me to do and then the power to do it, his power not mine. If i had the power to change my life then i would never have suffered heart ache or sorrow, but i have. That tells me i am very human, vulnerable, weak and i make mistakes, constantly. I am happy for the progress you made. To me it sounds like God healed you. And we do get healed, in small steps, gradual ones. I find it is as i rely upon Him daily and seek Him that I draw off of his strength, for in my weakness is his strength manifested. I find for me being grateful for what i have and being cared for by Him to meet all my needs gives me the energy and power to be positive and move forward. Blessings.