Thanks for your thoughtful replies people.

I just saw my other T who I have been seeing for a while (for CBT). Sometimes I bring up my childhood stuff with him. As I explained it all to him again and what this new T said who is dealing with my CSA, he said it is 'unusual' that the memories suddenly started so late (age 39) that pertain to CSA. So what am I to make of that?

I told him how do you explain that my life has transformed since reliving and processing trauma specific to CSA at age 12 & 14? As I have worked through these traumas I have become more confident, 'found myself', happier and no longer lost! Also my self-esteem is gradually getting better! This process gives authenticity to the belief that I was sexually abused.

But now I've met two T's who are skeptical that memories of CSA can suddenly start so late in adulthood.

The thing is that these memories form the main basis for not attending family Christmas. What am I to do? I just can't see this sister as I've had vivid memories of her interfering with me at the above ages in childhood. Then I start fearing that maybe they're right and I think to myself that maybe I have had a delusional disorder all along. But I've had psycho-somatic sensations, flashbacks, vomiting and I have been soooo mentally unwell all my adult life up until age 39. So I'm confused. I just don't feel like going back to this new T as I think she will keep invalidating my truth.

PH