I wonder who her and him are. Its like your husband-protector is gone now so you have yo face the question again. Im relating this to my brother tickling me - i was powerless to stop it, i didnt like it, my parents thought that if i was laughing then i was happy. But it was assaultive. This t and past ts always ask, and how did that make you feel? Some things were SO weird that i had to say, this is NOT my life, i am not reacting to this. But now i wonder, like how did i deal with the tickling? It must have been awful.