thanks for the ideas
several people have mentioned Benadryl, so I'll probably try it.
I have a list of a bunch of herbal products to try - and it includes valerian (there are others like lemon balm, black cohosh, kava kava) - but my own studying about herbals indicates that products often are not standardized in terms of their dosages or purity (and there often isn't scientific research about them) so this is what makes them dangerous.

The doctor who I met with - is not my doctor. He is only a man who sits in an office and had my file (because the nice doctor who I had seen for years died). This substitute doctor is not for me. His interpersonal style stinks and I will not be going back to him. Leave it at that.

I will have to solve this myself.