Some things I've been dwelling on since I've been diagnosed and have done some research.

As a histrionic, we seek validation/love as to who/what we are through others. do we not? So why is it that once we achieve that goal, we then do our level best to destroy the relationship?

I love being loved. So much so that I will give my all...just to then convince myself that I am not worthy of that love from my partner. I have finally realized that all of my long term relationships were destroyed by me.

Deep down inside, I feel that I am not worthy of the love given...

And it doesn't end there. I have done everything I can to maintain my level of fitness. I workout with weights and I run 20-30 miles/week. To what end? Why to be adored, of course. I am validated when I see a woman give me the once/twice over. I'm built, well groomed, charming/personable...And guess what...I don't believe it.

Talk about a disconnect. Anyway....enough for now, but that is what I'm feeling at the moment. Thanks for taking the time to read my friends.