I would have felt bad for my therapist, but in the past the feeling bad would have never stopped every time I relived that moment. I would start to feel shame for myself for having witnessed a week moment for her. Now, post therapy I would have feel a quick bit of empathy for her, then chuckle when ever it came to mind.

For me, I had to separate the words, Shame and Embarrassment. Shame was long lasting, and I could never get away from feeling bad or sad. It caused a lot of anxiety, and I could actually feel the stress hormones coursing through my body every time I thought about the scenario. Embarrassment allows me to say ouch, smile, and move on.

Not long ago, I stood my ex therapist up for lunch, because I went to the wrong restaurant which was very clear from her email. She has no mobile phone. She had made room in her extremely busy day, because we hadn't been in contact for months. I only felt embarrassed as opposed to the unending shame I would have saddled on myself for a lifetime in the past. I laugh about it now. While I waited for my therapist My thoughts were not of her being in a car accident, and blood and gush. Last month my advisor in turn totally blanked out on a lunch date. And, I was glad she was okay, and have no hurt feelings about it. These are all fairly new ways of thinking my for me thanks to therapy. I terminated 26 months ago.

It might be worth it to discuss your on going feelings about the tea spill with your therapist.