Last night, laying in bed next to my sweetie, I had the oddest sensation come over me. It's not a new feeling by any means, as I have felt this way with my father my whole life, who criticized just about everything I did on a daily basis. This feeling hit me with overwhelming power last night. I understood for the first time what may have happened with my ex bf. He may have had the same feeling once in our relationship, and once that feeling hit, I could see how he would just sort of want to give up. That's what I felt last night as I laughed ironically to myself, turning away from my current bf in bed.

I am not sure what to do now. I don't want to give up but any effort (and I feel I've been putting forth a LOT) never seems good enough for him. He also seems a little detached and uninterested at the moment. He won't even kiss me anymore with any desire or longing. I have to ask him and get upset about it because that means a lot to me and I have told him that it does a few times. Call me crazy but I want to kiss the person I love when I first see them, or when I'm leaving. They don't want to nor do they care about doing this or meeting this need for me without obvious disdain.

I kind of want to distance myself but we have all these things lined up with his family for the holiday. My family has things lined up too but they are pushed to the back burner and vaguely/ tentatively penciled in. I'm afraid to even ask for time apart and go with my family. I feel like he'll be mad or something because I already agreed to go to all these things with his family and it would be changing my mind... his family is really important to him but mine is to me too. I also feel way uncomfortable around his family and like I can't be myself. Maybe that's also why I want to back out and not go...
What do you guys think? Advice?