I wanted to go IP weeks ago, but my family will make fun of me. The only support I have is my husband, but because of the BPD I need my family's approval and if they don't approve I won't go IP. I just want to disappear sometimes, because that would be so much easier. If only I had the balls to. I'm far too chicken and far too dependent to ever do anything that might actually benefit me. Anytime I try to go IP my mother guilt trips me by saying. "How could you leave your kids?" As if they didn't have a father. My head is just so full. I don't know what to do. I hate that I feel like this on Christmas Eve. Now I have to get up and slap a smile on so that nobody knows it's world war 3 in my head right now.