I'm new here, just seeking advice from others who have been through similar problems.

I was in a relationship for three years with a girl I loved very deeply. It ended in 2012, and a few months after we separated, my father who was a drug addict for 15 years overdosed and died. I naively thought my ex, who was also my dearest friend, would be there for me in such circumstances and she of course was not. This chain of events caused me to fall into a deep depression and also I began to suffer from panic attacks in the middle of the night in the midst of sleep. I sought out seeing a therapist and psychiatrist who prescribed me anti-depressants (venlafaxine). In the years since, I've recovered superficially, in that I have a decent job I enjoy and a very nice apartment and living situation. However, I have dated very little and only had a couple hookups which mostly were the result of alcohol. The panic attacks are less frequent but the depression has been ongoing and unwavering, its gotten very heavy and I am still completely in love with my ex and totally heartbroken, whom I've only seen a handful of times since our breakup. She is still the first thing I think of in the morning and before I shut my eyes at night, I have tried to force myself to be interested in other women but nothing has worked. I haven't had so much as a crush on anyone, obviously I am sexually attracted to lots of women but none romantically whatsoever. I've written to her telling her how I feel and she has told me to move on and that she no longer loves me. I've respected her wishes (sans a few drunk dials), but in general I have had tremendous difficulty moving on. I do not click with any women, mostly because I think my depression causes me to appear unattractive, despite the fact that in the last few years I actually have gotten into decent shape working out, eating super healthy and actually look a lot better than I ever did when I was with my ex. I've tried online dating to no avail. My social life has dwindled and I've become pretty reclusive but I've recently started to put myself back out there but no such luck so far. I'm at a loss as to what to do about all of it, some days I feel like the world has been turned completely upside down. It's like I woke up one day, my ex left me and my dad died and everything continues to consistently go wrong for me. I never knew life could take such a downward turn but that is my reality right now. Any advice from people on here would be appreciated.