I'm sorry that your relationship ended, and that your father died. It takes time to get over a loss, and you've had several losses. Was the therapist or the psychiatrist of some help for you? That's great that you have been able to experience some enjoyment (in your job, and your apartment) - so this is hopeful. Would it be helpful, even a little helpful, the think of your love for your ex in terms of your appreciation of her time with you? And then for you to understand that sometimes a person leaves unexpectedly from your life, and these are beyond our control. So - appreciate that she was in your life, and appreciate that you can experience love. And maybe learn about the stages of grieving - figure out where you're at. And accept that this is your current experience, and that it'll take time to move on. Sounds like you want to meet others. Maybe there are some other ways to meet people. Instead of saying that "everything" "consistently" goes wrong for you - try to change what you're saying to yourself - instead of saying everything goes wrong - try to say sometimes things could be going better, and think of some ways to get things going better. When you feel like the world has turned upside down - I will agree that sometimes it feels like this - so let the dust settle when this thought enters your mind, and find some positives. Even when things feel toppled over, realize that you have the personal power to re-build something better. It's a positive step for you to come to this forum. And to ask for advice from us. Keep posting.