Quote:
Originally Posted by yagr
Heck, I'm just glad you responded. I was so interested in confirmation that for the first time on this forum, I considered PM-ing you and asking you if you wouldn't mind returning to this thread. I didn't obviously, purely out of respect and a desire not to cross a boundary. Thanks for coming back.
Absolutely supportive. At first glance, the idea that I care what others think of me seems pretty far-fetched, but of course that doesn't mean that it is. I know that I am capable of 'not making waves' by going along, but usually that is only when I am completely uninvested in the relationship and simply looking for the interaction to be over.
I'm going to reflect on it nevertheless and see if there is something there. My wife and I will discuss it today. She's incredibly perceptive and knows me better than anyone, so her input will be interesting.
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Good to hear
When I've reflected on this issue for myself, I have found that I make a distinction between 'caring what others think of me' vs. 'the emotion or defensiveness aroused in me when I feel eyes (and evaluative brains) on me'.
When I feel 'eyes on me', and see people's nonverbals showing that they will soon begin talking to me, I begin predicting the most likely comments to happen so I can come up with a verbal response that will deflect the interaction without inviting more inquiry.
The conflict comes because I know when I feel this way, and especially when I feel trapped, my ability to think logically decreases by about 30-40 IQ points. Makes it really frustrating to follow a pre-charted cognitive map.