Quote:
Originally Posted by angelicgoldfish05
I guess I don't open up or share. And despite therapist's advice to do so, I choose not to tell him about it. Sucks to have to keep such a big part of me hidden, but he doesn't believe in it... He thinks everything is a choice. Why on earth would anyone choose to have a mental illness? And even if one did try to make themselves mentally ill, that is abnormal and therefore implies a mental illness of a different sort (facticious disorder anyone?)..
so Idk.. all I can say is that I empathize and can understand to some extent.. my bf thinks committing suicide is just natural selection. Now do you really think I'm going to come out and tell him I've attempted twice? Yeah if he believes in natural selection, I am sure not a "fit" person in regard to the "survival of the fittest!" However, I did survive both times... but still, even choosing to do so and go down that dark path... I guess that was a choice. Having the illness, the hurt and pain, and call it what you will- I choose to call it abuse- that was not my choice. Not my fault.
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Thanks so much for this! I couldn't have said it better myself. I've never understood the argument about faking it. I agree that itself would be an illness especially not showering and acting depressed but not being depressed... where is the logic, right?
I had to ask my therapist if wishing I would just keel over dead everyday was bad. I don't think a normal person would have to ask that question.
I wish she would research more about my illness, my triggers, show me she cares the slightest, stop acting like I'm over playing it. I know it sounds like a lot but I just need a bit of patience with the way we communicate.
If my partner is on her period I research it. Same if she had post partum depression, cancer, sick, etc. I find it incredibly difficult to explain how you feel when you always have to lie and say you're fine rather than face ridicule. Why am I not aloud to tell someone I've been feeling empty inside the last couple of days. I guess they just don't know what empty feels like
