Quote:
Originally Posted by Inner_Firefly
Hi Elkino,
Looking for a new job can be scary, because there is so much unknown. I can understand how hard it is to get into action.  You should feel free to express all your fears and discuss what is stopping you. I wonder if your T's comment made you feel inhibited from saying everything that's on your mind?
If my T said that to me I would be kind of confused/ unsure what she means.
Was it supposed to be a helpful comment? Is your T a good T? Is she usually a good listener? I think her phrasing is a bit ambiguous without knowing her facial expression and tone of voice. Do you think she was saying it in a critical way, or was she trying to say you are a courageous person who has already overcome many fears?
Let's hope your T meant it in a good way! Will you bring it up to discuss with her? I hope she can be sensitive and aware of how your words can affect you. Please keep us updated! |
My T is a really good T. Maybe not always working 'by the rules' and she does have some boundary problems sometimes, but... She's helpful for me.
I do think that, because she knows me quite well by now, she feels more comfortable saying things that are on her mind. And quite often I need a 'hard' comment or a little bit of pressure to get me into action. So maybe it was helpful after all. But it can be dangerous if you don't know how to use that comment.
After reading all the comments here, I start realizing that maybe she meant that I do have a lot of fears, but they don't stop me all the time, so why should this one stop me?
But of course, when she doesn't put it into its context, it's hard to not start to wonder about the true meaning. And if you're not that very self-confident, like me, then... well...
Thanks for the post, I will try to bring it up next time and try to figure out what she meant. Because I noticed during our conversation that I was a bit hurt and then later on she mentioned that she felt my energy, as if she was a really bad person, why she only tried to point a few things out.
So maybe I have to learn to address it immediately and not let it ruin the whole session...