I am sorry this is the worst Christmas you have been through. I too found it so hard loving an unstable person who was always angry. I understand all the threads you have to untangle when you are letting go of someone. We just had our first Christmas as a divorced couple - with our four kids. It is so nice not to have to deal with him blaming me for everything in his life. Just take care of yourself, walk out when your husband starts to act crazy, keep your mind on what you would like to work on yourself. It is so nice to not have to be superman so you can fix someone, who is unstable, and who causes chaos all the time.