There's nothing wrong with trying to talk it out with her, but my gut says this might not be the best fit. She may just not "get" it--there are a lot of otherwise well-meaning people out there who remain blissfully ignorant of subtle (and not-so-subtle) systems of oppression. A comment like "I know it's real for you" would seem to imply to me that she doesn't think it's real for her--or just doesn't think it's real period. A feminist-informed T or a person of color might be able to better empathize with this reality--and not steer things back to irrelevant mom territory.

Hope that helps. Good luck!