Hi Bee!

You must have gone through a very difficult time. Moving house, setting up again, making new friends, getting a job etc. I don't know if it is true but apparently next to divorce, moving house is the next most stressful experience.

I can give you my penny's worth but not sure if it will help. My situation has been similar to yours in some ways.

I re-married 10 years ago when my daughter was a teenager. Her and my husband never got along, I suppose personality conflict but also because I was very protective over her and took full responsibility for her financial/emotional/social welfare. My daughter and I have had a good relationship over the years, she is now 25 and self-sufficient. They still don't see eye to eye and make the basic conversation when she visits, which is once per year for about 2 weeks. For the time my daughter lived with us I was torn in 2 most of the time. Never knowing who's side to take, always in a conflict situation.

My husband's son age 18 came to life with us more than 2 years ago. He has major problems of his own, drugs, drink, self-esteem, sex, motivation etc. We seem to have this triangle all over again but instead of my daughter it is his son. Being on the 'other side of the fence' so to speak has given me some insight into what my husband must have experienced while my daughter lived with us. There is the constant 'not being informed' about his child, which I was also guilty of to a certain extent. The reason I never wanted my husband to know about my daughter's business was because he disliked her so much and I was in a way trying to protect her. Similarly my husband will not inform me about his son's business because he thinks I will only criticize.

If I had to do it over again..... I would wait until my child was grown up. The resentment, conflict, constant bickering, criticism and lack of support is not worth it. The love has to be a VERY strong love and the 2 people involved must be very understanding of each other and of each other's situation to make this work. It has to be an unconditional love to make your situation work and already conditions have been set.

Keep posting Bee