I just finished reading someone's thread and I am at a loss. I read about how people here have horrific memories and feelings about what happened to them. The have parts that remember the abuse, the fear, the pain. I was abused when I was little. I only have fragments of it. I have not emotions attached to the fragments. Just visual memories but no feeling. Someone else has the feeling for those memories. But none of it comes to the surface. Sometimes there are breaks in reality like derealization or dissociation, but I don't have an understanding that these things happened to me. I don't know how to explain it. I almost don't relate to most of what I read on this site. I know I have a system and that we all have jobs and that most of us have jobs that enable us to function in the world. What I don't have much communication is with the parts that function in my system to protect me from remembering, I don't even know who I would be if I could remember. Would I be unable to function in the world. Would I become one part. It's so confusing. We are afraid to become just one of us but how do we become all of us in one place at the same time.