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He expects me to take care of the rooms because I always have in the past
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Stop doing this. Let them arrange their own rooms, starting with this weekend.
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He has informed his brother that she is not welcome in the house I live in and absolutely not welcome at the house we are buying nor near our children but I feel that's not getting the message through that we're serious.
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I'm not seeing how you can get the message through that you are serious until she actually shows up at your house and you call the police. Is there something specific that you have in mind?
I am sorry to say this, but I wonder if your son is using with her.