I don't think anyone truly understands each case. I can't speak to people looking down on it as a disease. Each battle is unique just like each battle with cancer is unique. They both are something that you had no control over getting. The difference is how you react to the battles. Cancer patients can give in and hate everything for having cancer or they can live each day to the fullest. Some days are hard, really hard. Yes, cancer is a more accepted and tolerated with empathy, but they both can rob a life of what we want.
I have been a spouse of someone who eventually was diagnosed bi-polar, PTSD, BPD. While this was a tough transition for both, it is about accepting , understanding, support, respect , and following a treatment plan.
The same person was also diagnosed with brain cancer at a later point and became a caregiver to another struggle I could only stand by and support.
I can't claim to understand either, but know that both diseases and diagnosis needed to have a good treatment plan that had to be followed and accepted.
I think the hard parts are so different for the person diagnosed and the codependent caregiver.
While the person that is diagnosed wants to go back or just be normal, they struggle because there is no going back.
The partner has different struggles because they also want to go back. They know that this is also out of their control. Each is trapped in a way. The codependent however thinks they can walk away entirely. They really can't if they care.
Where it breaks down is when there is no respect for self or the others in either case. Sadly anger enters into the equation for both.
This is the part of the struggle that will change it all.
I pray for understanding, compassion and respect of self and respect of others in this battle.