Yes, I feel more comfortable with her yet there is a lot of uncomfortableness also.
There are things that intrigue me but there are also things that petrify me.
I had an honest conversation at our first session about waiting for her harsh side to appear and she said she didn't have one ( I know everyone has one, so denying you have a harsh side is balls).
I said that she does have one and she said she doesn't like to show it because she was kind of bullied by the tutor in this training programme and has witnessed the anise of power in therapy. I believe she has a good heart and good intentions but she does really shock me at times.
I think she is a strong woman who has always had to fight for everything and in a way we have a great understanding of each other.
I have respect for her and she for me. I miss my old t a lot, I miss the regular appointments. This t I will only see once a month for two hours a session and this is hard to adapt to from once a week. She is the exact opposite of old t but I still miss old t. We discussed some of the things old t had said that had contributed to our rupture and new t was infuriated. She wanted me to feel that rage and fury but I couldn't because I am still attached. I also told new t about my feelings for old t and it was quite easy to talk to her about it. She clarified for me what exactly my feelings were and although they are sexual they are more about needing a mother figure in my life. New t is more open to communication outside of session and offered to send my stuff by text and email, I really like her but I am worried as Rainbow said that the therapy will be more about my feelings for her and not about me.


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