Thank you for replies!

I broke up with my boyfriend and Im wondering if we were happy if we tried again. Its so hard to be alone, its so hard to look at people who are happy together but at the sane time I feel free because my bf tortured me emotionally.

My relationship with T is more like friendship, I feel like Im seeing my friend in jail. If I had money I would see another T (sometimes I saw) but then I should tell everything from the start. My t made me feel im special saying Im the only one he hugged and I pay less then others and he would never forget me and thinks about me, also in sexual way, sure I hoped we could have relationship but I know we cant and he doesnt want to. It would be better if we were friends but he wants to be only my t and it tortures me but Im not obsessed anymore and looking for another relationship because I want family, children etc.