Quote:
Originally Posted by ruh roh
Well, she has already put herself front and center of your therapy with her shock and awe. So at least it's not something that's going to sneak up on you. She walked right up and smacked you in the face with it. It's interesting that she said she was bullied and would not do that to anyone else--because she runs the risk of bullying through the opposite extreme (being your champion and all-consuming, exciting therapist).
I apologize if I'm overstepping, but you seem to be really open to looking at this from all angles. Your self-awareness is your saving grace. Questioning her and yourself is good, though I agree this would be very damaging for someone who is vulnerable and unaware.
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You are not over stepping at all and I appreciate your outlook. You have helped me to look at this from many angles along with the other comments.
I am open to positive and negative and every other type comments because at the moment I am trying to figure out my feelings for this new t and what has happened.
I think her ego is fragile, more fragile than last t because she did not care if I liked her at all. That had positive and negative effects on our therapy. She could say what she liked without having to worry about being the good t and trying to get her clients to idealise her and it drive me away in the end because I ended up getting hurt a lot. I needed her to care about me more than she neeeded me. There has to be a fine balance between the two (I feel anyway) for the relationship to work.
This t tries to impress too much, I suppose it was a boost to her ego for me to want to see her and I am amazed that some ts still feel like this because I have met so many robot ts who go through the motions whilst skipping the emotions. I really feel like we can have a relationship "I thou" relationship (gestalt phrase). It means we both learn from each other and respect the other whilst changing each other's lives. I believe that she still believes clients change her and we spoke about this the last time how clients have impacted her.
She also doesn't encourage attachment by trusting the client to know when they are ready to come back. She doesn't book them in every week and says that I am ok without a therapist. It was almost empowering for me to hear a t say that. Every other t I have had has been weekly and encouraged some sort dependancy on them and therapy!
I like the idea of trying to really work on things between sessions and to put to work what I have learned about building relationships and trusting the right ones will still be there without getting too attached or addicted to them.
I would hope she would take a different approach with other clients who are not in a good enough place to recognise what they need and who rely in their therapists to provide them with the safety to figure it out together.
I really think she is trying to help me to the next stage as I have been stuck in the impasse for such a long time now.
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