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Gracey said:

Uh huh. . .so you DO hide things. Now. . .think about what that's like for him? Is it possible. . .just possible. . .that he jabber jaws in an attempt to put you more at ease?

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Yes, I hide things. Even from myself. Can you guess why?

Again, I don't think people jabber to put other people at ease. At least, that's hard for me to imagine.

I grew up with a mother of whose hatred I was terribly aware. Especially she hated expressions of (my) weakness or terror. The rest of my family was afraid of her hatred too. Including my father. And other people, seeing you hated, hate you too -- if only to protect themselves. It's easier to take sides with the hater, seen as being in control, than it is to take sides with the hated one, and thus incur wrath too.

I am afraid that my therapist will (be forced to) take sides with the haters, when he discovers what I am really like (small and afraid). Is it possible he will be strong enough not to have to?

Sorry; I am revealing (discovering) a lot.