I've been thinking alot about my T and I and how we are progressing in just my upcoming 7th visit. There are limited therapists in my area now since I've saw just about all of them, I live in a rural community so most have been in the field 30 + years. Anyway my new T is incredible, but I dont know why. I feel so so comfortable with her. I've already called her once, I've already cried in her office, I've shared my poetry with her, and I've e-mailed her.

This really is scary for me. I'm unsure as to why I'm comfortable with her, she's easy to talk to, open, intelligent,..but the part that bothers me is I find her attrative , being a male espcially me who is open arms to anyone that will listen I'm afraid my attraction to her is possibly hurting to bond? I think this is a temporary feeling tho because when I cry I think of her as a body guard pushing over the depressive thoughts, but in therapy at times i find it hard to look at her,...not sure if i should...i'm trying to lower the attraction because she really helps me and i dont want that to interfere.

Am i a bad for having these thoughts so quickly? I belieeve i will progress with my currernt T,...just some aspects scare...me. There are times when i just want her to hug me, shake my hand,...but I know i shouldnt expect that....i'm growing into a new relationship its hard....ty for reading..

Dustin