You aren't an idiot. You're dealing with symptoms. It happens. I have bronchitis and asthma which means I have to do breathing treatments that make me jittery and use a steroid inhaler that makes me jittery. I forgot and had to use it too late and haven't used the inhaler yet (probably will skip though even though I shouldn't) so I'm awake and ready to move the world except that moving makes me cough. So I'm stuck in bed being jittery because I can't count to 4. Im also sitting her picking at my scalp until it bleeds. No reason for this, just a bad habit that increases when anxious.

Maybe you could download a reminder app to your phone so that you don't forget when your husband isn't home?

And can you substitute another song? You got me into Dar Williams months ago. How about one of her songs? Not bland but not agitating either.