((((((cafegrrrl)))))) i'm with you. i know how you're feeling. as for being bipolar, don't be afraid. there's help for that, too. i'm not bipolar, though. i have unipolar depression that is treatment-resistant.

you are not lazy. and it's not your fault that you have depression. i'm sorry that your mom doesn't understand the nature of depression or bipolar illness. i hope she will understand someday. believe me, i can hardly clean, do laundry, or even cook. my husband does the laundry and cooking. he tries to help me, which i'm grateful for. and i try to help out as much as i can, but most of the time, my depression just sucks the energy out of me. so, i know how hard it is to do the most simple things in life, which many people take for granted.

do not be afraid to call your doctor's office. you have an absolute right to know. and, no, you're not bugging them. believe me, i feel like i'm bugging my psychiatrist for information a lot, but if i don't do it, i wouldn't hear from him for quite awhile. anyway, when you need relief (or medical attention), you need it. i know peopel say that we're quick-fix oriented. the truth is: the sooner we get treated, the sooner we can improve or recover. of course, we have to be realistic, since they treat plenty of other people as well. so, we have to juggle with other people's needs. but, do not feel guilty when you have a serious need, or even having an emergency and need help right away.

i wish you the best and hope you feel better soon. glad that you're able to find doctors who can help you with your financial situation, so that you can get your medication. plus, we're here for you. anytime.