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Originally Posted by YMIHere
For me, it's been one diagnosis after another. I'm planning on therapy for the long haul this time - probably because I'm secure that I finally found the right therapist.
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I'm sure it's disconcerting. I never like when they have something new to add to the list of "what is wrong", lol. There are some other things (depression, anxiety, OCD, etc), but I usually just talk about the BPD and depression, I guess.
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Originally Posted by YMIHere
First it was dysthymic, then Major Depression, then ADHD, then Bipolar. Now I'm just waiting on BPD. Even without the diagnosis I can definitely see some of the traits in myself.
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Traits of BPD can still cause major issues in life, for sure.
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Originally Posted by YMIHere
When I first started reading about ADHD I read something about "blink". Basically someone is talking and you just completely, yet involuntarily, zone out.
Reading your experience reminded me of one of my own which at THAT time I chalked up to blinking since it was the only thing I had to go on at the time. Now I wonder if it isn't tied to other dysfunctions in my psyche.
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That's very interesting. Yes, the times I've had that happen to me were times I dissociated. Very strange feeling, losing the connection with the outside world.
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Originally Posted by YMIHere
I was having a convo with a friend when they said to me, "If I have a problem, I don't come to you. You never listen to what I have to say."
You do not want to hear this from one of your best, oldest friends. I reached out to another friend basically expressing the hurt at that comment. These two are also old friends - I introduced them to each other. The response I got was, "Well you don't listen. You're always off in Cynthialand."
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Ouch!! No, I imagine not. I wish they had explained that a bit better or said it more gently. I also would have been very hurt if I had been in your shoes.
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Originally Posted by YMIHere
So I went to a friend outside of the circle - someone only I was close to who basically confirmed what they said and I was still in denial thinking she was just jumping on the bandwagon.
So I went to another friend Cara, God Bless her. I said, "Do you feel like I don't listen to you when you talk?"
She said, "Sometimes, but that's OK, because I totally do that to you too!" LOL. She's ADHD also.
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It's the worst way to find out things about yourself, but I suppose it's the people who are closest who notice our issues the most. I'm glad Cara was more understanding and compassionate about it.
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Originally Posted by YMIHere
The reason she had the other friend was b/c that friend had invited HER to Thanksgiving, but they were all going to do something else. When she had to change plans I was the one who never got an invite and I was DEVASTATED.
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I can imagine!! You must have felt so abandoned and rejected. What a horrible feeling. Especially around the holidays. I don't know about you, but being alone on the holidays - especially when deliberately excluded from something - makes me feel unspeakably awful.
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Originally Posted by YMIHere
Basically, in my no shades of gray it was:
She stayed home
She didn't invite me
She invited my ex friend who I had only recently stopped talking to because she verbally attacked me and ex friend ADMITTED that she had verbally attacked me
She betrayed me
The end.
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I see that as a betrayal, too. And she obviously thought of the other friend's feelings (it would make her uncomfortable), so what happened to thinking about yours? Ugh.
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Originally Posted by YMIHere
She got mad that I was laying guilt on her ("I didn't know I had to check with you before I made plans") but it took me forever to get her to see that whatever her reasons for doing it, SHE HURT ME.
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Then she reacts with anger and being snarky? That's not good. You know...we doubt ourselves and our perceptions a lot, but there are plenty of times when we're dead on about a situation being wrong or a person fvcking up. I'm so sorry that things went that way and that you were betrayed by someone you cared about and trusted.
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Originally Posted by YMIHere
Seriously hoping to pull my life together with therapy. Kinda missing my therapist. Can't wait til Weds.
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Sometimes I seriously don't know what to do about life, and I wonder if any amount of therapy will make it seem less WTF-do-I-do-with-this. I hope your therapist is more helpful to you than some of mine have been!