Moonkin, you are fine and attraction is okay, part of the attachment for some.

Although it may sound unthinkable, this is something you can talk about with her. This will be a familiar topic for her even if it is unfamiliar and anxiety-provoking for you. If you tell her about it, it gives her the opportunity to reassue you that it is okay and there is nothing at all wrong with the way you feel and that might be very relieving for you to hear that from her.

You are right where you need to be. You are doing so well with this T. Maybe that is a bit scary too and you're unconsciously looking for ways for the connection to be 'not right' or 'too much'.

Often the more connected I feel the more I want to turn and run. Connection is so good but can be so uncomfortable too.

Hang in there, you're doing great!