Hi All --

I mention this book from time to time, because it had a big influence on me. Not enough of an influence to get me out of my recliner and into the world, but an influence to recognize how relationships can be built. Personal Village: How to Have People in Your Life by Choice, Not Chance by Marvin Thomas.

Here is the most important idea I learned, which sheds light for all of us who feel as if we are outsiders when we first approach others and get to know them:

It takes seven visits to a new group before other people start to regard us as one of them. So it seems that the seven visits are just something each and every one has to go through to gain recognition and acceptance. We aren't strange or worthless or any of the things we may infer when we are not immediately "part of the group." This has really helped me when I have to go to some occasion where I am new.

The other thing I learned is that going for a regular walk around the neighborhood can be a first step toward building personal relationships. Do I do it? Neigh.

I like this book because it is written by a counselor on the basis of his years of experience. Each chapter also has action steps and checklists, and these are well-organized and helpful.

I do not mean for this to be an advertisement. I just want to share something that I read about a year ago and that still has meaningful guidance for me.