So sorry you're feeling so down. Right there beside ya right now.

I find it easier to bare my soul when I'm writing. My husband knows me better than anyone, but we did start via correspondence. I told him some of the hardest things about myself that way. And I asked my therapist for his email so that I could tell him something major that i knew it would be hard to bring up in therapy. Little by little.

Though I will say I have the blessing of not having been burned by a significant other. I'm ALWAYS the one who cut them off, so the never had the chance.