Hello BuildABridge: Well... I'm older than you are. But I can relate to allot of what you wrote. I think I could have written it. In fact... I think I probably have... somewhere. Although I am married, I am otherwise completely solitary... by choice.

I've seen a number of mental health professionals over the years. However none of them has ever actually given me a diagnosis. So I can't really say where I fit. Sometimes I think I've missed out on something. At other times I think perhaps it is a blessing. I don't know. One thing I do know is that my problems go back so far that the reasons for them will never be untangled. I've given up hope that this could even be possibility. And, like you, to the extent that I struggle with my mental health issues at all, it is only due to the fact that my wife needs me.

I don't see a therapist. I've seen a few. But all they ever did was take my money. I technically still have a pdoc. But where I live all they do is prescribe & monitor psych med's. And since med's are expensive, & they never really did me much good, I've discontinued them as well. At my last appointment with my pdoc, I told him I don't plan on returning to see him except for once a year just to keep my foot in the door, so to speak.

Anyway... despite my less than stellar experiences with the mental health system in my area, I do think it is worthwhile for you to see a psychiatrist & / or therapist. I have read posts written by members, here on PC, who have written that their T or pdoc saved their lives. It's certainly worth a try! Good luck!