I think therapy can be a mind fck at times - because we are told we are supposed to feel "uncomfortable". Sometimes "uncomfortable" is an internal warning sign, a fabulous self regulating process. You shared because it seemed a little off to you.

Overall, what screams out to me are boundaries. Completely goes back to the 5th date thing - those are boundaries. When others cross boundaries after 1.5 hours of "knowing" us, to me it is a red flag and a very appropriate response from your gut. It doesn't mean she can't help you, but breaking boundaries from the get-go is not a good sign.

She really licked herself in front of you??
"I lick self, therefore I love self" has never been quoted for a reason.